Weighty Issues...

Most of you know that I tend to struggle with my weight. I haven't been satisfied with my size ever, that I can recall.

This is a problem when you have daughters. Mine have watched me struggle and diet. They've watched me yo-yo up and down. They've seen me unhappy inside my skin.


There are some things I've had to come to terms with over the last 20 years.

1. Shopping for jeans and bathing suits will make me cry. I have to prepare mentally for days before I can attempt to scavenge for a pair of jeans or bathing suit that I will be able to wear in public.
2. I never fit into the size that I think I should fit into. Even when I've managed to lose some weight, I'm always about 5 pounds from the next smaller size. It is a morale killer, for me, every time.
3. I'll never be able to just walk into a store and pull something cute (in my size) off the rack, go to the register and buy it. I always have to try things on. Nine times out of ten, that cute item from the rack exacerbates one of the many body issues I struggle with.
   
   

Well, this week, my girls had a half day and we went to the mall for the afternoon. We decided to look for bathing suits. My heart ached as I watched my sweet daughter's face and realized that she, at 11 years old, was experiencing the very same emotions that I experience when I am in a dressing room. I saw her experience embarrassment, shame, disappointment, self-consciousness...pain.

I wanted to scream out loud right there in the dressing room. How dare anyone, myself included, contribute to making my daughter feel this way about herself. I hate the society we live in that says if she (or me too, for that matter) isn't tall and thin, she isn't as worthwhile or important or cool or as beautiful as someone who is.

How could anyone think that about this precious, beautiful girl? How could they do that to her?

I won't be a party to it anymore. I pray that from this day forward, the only message she gets, at least from watching me, is that we are all made beautifully and in God's image. She is beautiful outside, but more importantly, inside. That's what really counts!