Modern Love

I just finished reading this article in the NY Times called Modern Love
Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear By Laura A. Munson.

The article is about a woman whose husband came to her one day and told her he didn't love her anymore, he wasn't sure he ever did. She decided she didn't believe him. She stuck it out. She internally decided to give him six months and waited to see what happened. She went about her life with her children, kept setting his place at the dinner table and waited.

And he came back around.

If only more wives (or husbands for that matter) had the strength to do this. I find it interesting that the article was titled modern love... Have we come full circle? Is this idea of love... waiting and continuing to love someone who is being unloveable such a new idea that it is now modern? Has divorce so permeated our society that it is the normal, expected result? How sad...

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul writes:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

What this wife did is the very definition of love. She didn't let her pride get in the way. She didn't let her anger and hurt fester. She didn't hold a grudge. She hoped, she persevered.

I imagine that this must have been one of the most difficult things she had ever done. She must have had moments of horrible pain and frustration. And in no way do I believe that every woman who tries to wait for her husband to work through a tough time will have the same result. Some husbands will still leave. But don't most people stay in a job they hate much longer than six months while they contemplate their options and make a decision. If more people, husbands and wives alike, would give their rocky marriages six months who knows what the definition of Modern Love could be.

Anniversary

Fifteen years ago, today, Chad and I were married. Wow! Fifteen years... How the time has passed in the blink of an eye.

This year we are apart. I am at home in Murrieta. He is working in Modesto. But I think that it almost makes sense this year. Hold on while I explain...

You don't make it to fifteen years of marriage without some ups and downs. You don't make it to fifteen years without learning how to be flexible. You don't make it to fifteen years without learning that marriage takes work and just because you might not be together on the DAY OF, doesn't mean that you don't care anymore. In fact, I believe that it means that we are STILL IN THIS TOGETHER. We are willing to do whatever it takes to make our family work and keep us moving forward. We are willing to make momentary sacrifices for the good of our family. And even though I would love to be on an Hawaiian island with my husband right now, I'll take take just knowing that we both care about the long term. Our marriage, our family, has a future.



I love you, Chad.

35 is half of 70!

For the last ten years or so, I've cried on my birthday. Somehow the day just seems to disappoint. Maybe it's because it's supposed to be "my day" and it usually seems to end up about everyone else. The nature of being a mom I suppose...

Well, I'm 35 now. This number was looming with a large amount of heaviness for me. Thirty-five is half of 70. Thirty-five is half way between 20 and 50. How is it possible that I am just as far away from 20 as I am close to 50? Seriously, I was 20 about 3 years ago. Everyone says that the time flies by. I just had no idea.

My birthday present this year was my trip to Martha's Vineyard to see my brother. My mom and I had a great time! But when I got home, there were still surprises waiting for me.



The evening of my birthday, my mom came over and brought dinner. She made homemade potato ham chowder and fresh baked bread. It was delicious.

And I didn't want a cake this year. While we were in Martha's Vineyard last week, the fudge shops were just starting to open back up for the season. Fudge sounds good to me...

Mom made fudge with toffee chips for me... yum!

And my husband... for those of you that don't know Chad well, he is the "handiest" person I've ever met! I truly believe that he can do anything that he sets his mind to doing. In the course of our marriage he has saved us "millions and millions" of dollars by doing things himself that the ordinary person would have to hire someone to do. If you are not yet married, and are looking for a life mate, I highly recommend adding to your list of desirable attributes the ability to fix and build and install things.

Anyway, this was our family room when we moved in. Two gaping holes in the wall where a built-in entertainment center would go...

This is how we've lived with it for the last year. This beautiful set-up consists of a plastic Costco table holding our T.V. and relevant electronics, with all of our DVDs and CDs in Rubbermaid tubs under the table.

When I got home from Martha's Vineyard last week, this is the incredible work of art that was waiting for me when I got home...SURPRISE!

Chad and his brother, Billy, who is the other "handiest" person I know, spent much of the week I was gone and some of the week before that, building this beautiful entertainment center from scratch!

I honestly can't complain this year. I didn't cry. Not even one tear. Thirty-five started off pretty well. Maybe it won't be so bad after all...

Emily Goes to Washington...and we went to Disneyland...again...

Emily in Washington Day 4

6:00am Wake-up call
7:00am Breakfast
8:00am BUS to National Mall
Lunch at Reagan Center
1:00pm Capitol Hill
Library of Congress-Supreme Court
Dinner at Pentagon Mall
10:00pm Curfew


Well, our Disneyland annual passes are finally expiring. We went today for one last day of fun and to celebrate Chad's birthday next week. He didn't want to get the birthday button, but you have to have it in order to get a dozen free tortillas at the Mission Tortilla Factory. So, of course, I made him get the button...then it turns out that the tortilla machine was broken down...ooops.


We rode Tower of Terror, of course. It's one of our favorites.


The girls got to choose one last Disneyland treat.


Abbey and Megan rode California Screamin' together.

Pirates...

If you read my blog regularly, you'll remember how much the girls love... It's Tough to be a Bug... (If not, you can read about it here.) This experience was the worst yet... Abbey literally sat, curled up into the fetal position, on the floor. But Chad and I couldn't pass up one of our favorites just because of a little crying! ;)

And you'll also remember our Toy Story rivalry. Well, I think that after all my bragging and teasing over the last couple of times I beat Chad, what I did was wake a sleeping tiger. He STOMPED me today. See for yourself. He was blue, I was red.

We thoroughly enjoyed our year of having annual passes, but we are all a little relieved to know that it will be quite a while until we visit Disneyland again. Apparently you can get too much of the "Happiest Place on Earth."

Toy Story Showdown!

As many of you know, our family has had Disneyland annual passes this year to celebrate our living back in Southern California. We have used them often! We've gone after school a couple of times and it's been great to be able to meet friends there. This past summer they opened a new ride in Disney's California Adventure Park. It is called Toy Story Mania and it is FUN! The ride is designed like a carnival midway and you are taken through a series of shooting games. It is like a big video game and you wear 3-D glasses. At different times you are shooting darts, tossing rings, throwing baseballs, etc. The goal, of course is to score as many points as possible. Chad and I love to ride together and see who can get the highest score. Last time Chad lost and I received a wonderful foot massage as my reward!

Well, today we decided to go on a date while the girls were at school. We arranged for my mom to get the girls from school and we headed to Disneyland for a rematch/showdown.



Disneyland has a similar ride and it is also themed from the movie Toy Story. It's called Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, and again, you shoot at targets trying to get the highest score. We went to this ride first and as you can see from the picture below, I took this very seriously with excellent results. Notice our scores!! (Maybe Chad's gun wasn't working! hee hee!)



Next, we went and had lunch in Downtown Disney. After lunch we went over to see who would win our showdown! We stopped on the way to watch the 3-D Show, It's Tough to be a Bug! Our girls HATE this show. It is the kind of show where they shoot air and water at you and make it seem like things are going to hit you in the face. Chad and I really love this show so we took the opportunity to see it without anyone crying, huddled up in a ball in the seats next to us!


Next, it was off to Toy Story Mania!



Well, I must tell you that Chad beat the pants off of me this time. Our final scores were something like 145,000 to 173,000. We thought about riding again to break our tie, but the line was long and we wanted to beat traffic so we headed home.


Our passes don't expire for another month.

Maybe we'll have time for a rematch... ;.)

Thanksgiving...and being thankful...

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's a time to spend with family and remember all that we have to be thankful for...

This year, I am looking beyond a generic "family and friends" answer to the question, "What are you thankful for this year?" God has blessed me in incredible ways.

I am SO thankful for another year of being married to Chad! For fourteen years we have been a team, raising kids, figuring it all out together. When more and more people are getting divorced and families are falling apart, I am so grateful for a husband who is committed to our family and our marriage. He is an amazing person. He has integrity, he works incredibly hard, he is an amazing father, and he's a pretty handy guy on top of all of that. He is my best friend. Thank you, Lord, for Chad.

We have three beautiful, healthy, intelligent, amazing girls. Every day we laugh and wonder at the things that they say, the people that they are. They are great kids. Each one different from the next. They are growing and maturing every day. They amaze me. They make my life more interesting and wonderful. Thank you, Lord, for Emily, Megan and Abbey.

Our girls have an amazing dad! I wish I could make them understand how truly lucky they are to have a dad who jumps on the trampoline with them, goes on walks with them, takes them on dates, and tells them they are beautiful. He encourages them and hugs them and talks with them. Chad has helped heal some of my hurts by being such an incredible father to our girls. Thank you, Lord, for the father that Chad is to our children.

We are finally close enough to see family almost whenever we want to. After all the years of living 400 miles away, it is so fun to have cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles around to spend time with. And when out-of-town family comes to visit, we can host the gatherings. Thank you, Lord, for our getting to spend time with our family.

For me, getting to spend time with my mom has been an amazing treat. I still haven't quite gotten used to how close she is. She and I both forget sometimes that we can call each other and invite the other to run errands or to a movie. Thank you, Lord, for my mom. And thank you for protecting our relationship through my teens. I am so thankful that we made it to the other side and that I can call her my friend.

(This picture is of us with "Sam the Cooking Guy.")

I've also gotten to spend time with sister-in-law and my goofy brothers. I missed them when we lived in Modesto and it is so great to be able to talk and share stories and "remember when's" with them. Thank you, Lord, for my brothers and a sister thru marriage.

And friends... We got to see three sets of friends this week. We met up with the Villanuevas and the Cernanskys at Disneyland and the Proms came and stayed with us for the weekend. We had so much fun with all of them. It is great to see how everyone's kids have grown and the people that they are becoming. It is great to chat and catch up and remember how lucky we are to have developed such great lasting friendships with them. Thank you, Lord, for our friends and the fun that they can bring into our lives.

And that brings me to Thanksgiving Day. I am thankful for a home of our own, where we can cook an amazing dinner and spend time with family.

I am thankful for my sous chef, Megan. She helped me do a lot of prepping for dinner.

I am thankful for grocery stores that are so well stocked. I am thankful for the plentiful food we enjoy...

I am thankful for the fun that our family has while we are cooking!

I am thankful for TURKEY!

I am thankful that my grandparents were able to stop by. Look at them with 5 of their 9 great-grandchildren!

I am thankful for board games. Megan was the "Guess Who Champion."

I am thankful for just being together.

I hope your Thanksgiving was just as great as mine!

From me to you...Happy Thanksgiving!