The harder the challenge, the greater the reward...

I write this with Emily's permission.



Ok... Where to start?


Sometime last school year, maybe around March or April, Chad and I told Emily we'd like her to choose something to participate in when she started high school. We wanted her to get involved in her school in some way, expand her friendship circle, have less time for texting and the drama that goes along with it, etc. Well, she had briefly shown an interest in running. We suggested the cross country team. She is more of an individual sport kind of person, it would suit her personality. She said she'd think about it. So, as the end of the year approached we asked her what she had decided. She didn't want to do it anymore, but she didn't have any other ideas. So she reluctantly agreed to try cross country. We told her that if she was going to do it, she needed to do it. No quiting... One year. If she hated it she could choose to not do it again next year. She said okay.


Cross country is a fall sport so they start conditioning in the summer, six days a week at 7:00am. Her first day of practice was July 6. This did not thrill her. She went to practice the first day and when I picked her up, she was not happy. She was exhausted, angry, and defeated. She cried and told me she hated it and she wanted to quit. It was too hard, she can't do it. As many of you know, Chad has been working out of town for several months now. He is home a few days and then gone for a week or two. Well, Chad wasn't going to be home for two weeks. I told her that she needed to give it some time. She hadn't been running and needed to give herself some time to get in shape. She had to give it the full two weeks until Chad got home and then we would all sit down and discuss her options.


Let me just say that the next two weeks were some of the toughest parenting weeks of my life. She fought me every morning. She hated getting up early, she hated that she couldn't have sleepovers with her friends, she hated that it was so hard. There were days that I dropped her off and I cried all the way home. Now some of you may be thinking, why fight her then. Just let her quit. Believe me, I was SO tempted to do just that. But months before, when she signed up for the team, Chad and I talked about her possible reactions to the first few weeks of practice. We knew she would hate it and cry and complain. Let's be honest, she doesn't like to work hard (she gets that from me), and she doesn't have a lot of confidence. She doesn't like to try new things. These things we knew and we want her to be better than that. We wanted her to build a little character and develop some work ethic. We wanted her to learn what it is to be part of a team. To cheer on and be cheered on... And honestly, how could I ask her to develop these characteristics if I was unwilling to do my part of the hard work and stand behind her, push a little when she wanted to give up, withstand the emotion behind her exhaustion...


Well, little by little, the runs got easier. She ran more, walked less. We had that talk when Chad got home and she decided to stick it out. When he got home, he went with her on Saturday and ran the "long run" of the week. They ran 5 miles with no walking. She went to Running Camp the following week and had a hard time. They ran twice a day, morning and evening.


There is a big race every year at camp. It's called "Killer Peak." The race is 4 miles uphill with a 1200 foot altitude change from bottom to top. It is a really big deal for everyone on the team. Alumni come back every summer to run it and try to beat their own personal best time. The morning of the race, Chad and I drove up the mountain to watch her run. When we got there, she wasn't feeling well. She didn't run. She wanted to come home. We could see right away that the sickness she was suffering from was homesickness. We were so disappointed. We had been so looking forward to seeing her run. She didn't even try. As soon as she saw us, she could see how disappointed we were. We saw, though, how disappointed she was in herself. As each runner came across the finish line, the whole team would stand and cheer. Once they crossed the finish line and rested for a minute, some of them would run back a few hundred yards and help encourage and run with their friends who were behind them. I was so sad for her. She had robbed herself of this beautiful experience. We talked about what had happened and she decided to try to stick it out at camp. She wasn't feeling 100%, but she would try. She came back a changed person.



Gone were the complaints and the "I can'ts." Gone was the girl who didn't think she could do it. The "long run" for the 5th week of practice was nine miles. She ran the whole thing.


I don't think I can explain to you how wonderful it has been to watch my child literally bloom from a little seed, self protected and doubting to a beautiful flower, full of confidence. She is blossoming as a member of her team.


And it isn't only her attitude about cross country that has been affected. She is more thoughtful, and self-disciplined. She sees more of the world outside her own.


Today was Emily's first Cross Country Race. Chad and I were so excited to see all of her hard work pay off. We wore our "RUN EMILY RUN" custom t-shirts to show our support. We talked to her before the race and she was very nervous. But when the race started, she did such a great job, she surprised us, herself, even her coaches. She didn't just run it to run it. She ran it with purpose. She was in pain, but she didn't let up. One coach said that he loved seeing that she is a competitor. The first 40 runners in each race got a medal. She placed 31 of 120 freshman girls in her heat.





(She is #1512)

This experience has taught all three of us some valuable lessons. First, Chad and I have learned that there are some things worth fighting for and some points worth forcing. We are seeing such a change in our daughter for the better (and she was a great kid before any of this.) I have spent years doubting myself as a parent, wondering if I'm doing the right thing, making the right decision, waiting for some of the payoffs I've always heard were coming. We know now that as parents we usually do know what's best for our child. We can trust ourselves and as long as we are on the same page, we can make it through the challenges that come in raising our kids.

And Emily... She has learned that she is capable of so much more than she thinks she is. That she can't say can't until she's at least given it a try. She's learned that we will stand behind her and push her (if needed) and support her no matter what.

What I hope she's learned most of all, is how much we love her and that we couldn't be prouder.